I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
