Your tits are I can't wait for
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
is wine microwaveable?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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