no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
