whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
