Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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