That's intense
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
