my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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