If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
