i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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