He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize