I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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