hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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