So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
