She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
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I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
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I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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