just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
It was confusing and full of hummus
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
