I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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