I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
She bit a glass in half.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
