did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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