You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
You made me cry and you don't even care
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
