you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I would ride that face into the sunset
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize