can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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