i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
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