My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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