Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize