Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
