if you like me you must not know who I am
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
