Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
