have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
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