My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Welp...herpes.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
tell me about the fingering
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