I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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