Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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