that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
