yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
