Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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