I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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