i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
how does that bad decision feel?
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