smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
