I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
