Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
