dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I just had sex on a roof
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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