Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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