I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
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