Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
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no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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