Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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