Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
