Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
