D3 body, D1 cock
Ambien. No doubt about it.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
it was like his penis was on wheels.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
