it wasn't lemon gatorade
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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