We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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