Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
