My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
porn star boner night. come get it.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
