In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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