I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
