I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
