Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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