good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Randomize