just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
